Stop Trying to Be Perfect

Resonance in Practice

Resonance in Practice is an ongoing series inspired by conversations on The Resonance Lab podcast. Each article begins with an idea from one of those conversations and explores it through the lens of The Nova Method’s audience-first approach to communications.

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If there’s one piece of advice I wish more leaders would stop giving themselves before an important presentation, it’s this:

“Don’t make any mistakes.”

It’s understandable. Most of us want to do well when the stakes are high. We rehearse our opening, refine our slides, anticipate difficult questions, and replay the conversation in our minds long before it happens. Preparation is part of being responsible, and I would never suggest otherwise.

What I’ve come to question is the expectation that good communication should be flawless.

That thought stayed with me after a recent conversation with executive communication coach Hope Timberlake on The Resonance Lab. Hope has spent years helping leaders prepare for presentations, media interviews, and other high-pressure situations. As we talked about executive presence and confidence, I found myself thinking less about presentation skills and more about the expectations people place on themselves before they ever begin speaking.

Many of us assume the audience is paying far closer attention to our performance than they actually are.

I’ve seen it happen after media interviews, conference presentations, and internal meetings. Someone walks off stage convinced they spoke too quickly, forgot an important point, or didn’t answer a question as well as they had hoped. They replay the conversation in their minds as they ask the same question I’ve heard countless times over the years.

“Did everyone notice?”

Most of the time, they didn’t.

And it’s likely because they’re simply paying attention to something different.

They’re listening for information that helps them understand a decision, solve a problem, or make sense of a changing situation. They’re wondering how the conversation relates to their work, responsibilities, or concerns. Their attention is focused on the message far more than the mechanics of its delivery.

If success means delivering every sentence exactly as rehearsed, then almost any unexpected moment feels like failure. A forgotten statistic, a pause to collect your thoughts or an audience question that changes the direction of the conversation can feel like evidence that something has gone wrong. But if success means helping people understand an idea, those same moments often look very different.

Some of the most engaging speakers I’ve worked with weren’t memorable because they appeared polished. They were memorable because they were fully present. They noticed when an audience looked uncertain. They welcomed questions that took the conversation in an unexpected direction. They were willing to set their notes aside for a moment if it meant making a stronger connection with the people in the room.

That kind of flexibility is difficult if our attention is fixed on ourselves.

Hope and I also spent time talking about authenticity, another word that has become part of almost every leadership conversation. It’s an appealing idea, but I sometimes wonder whether we’ve made it more complicated than it needs to be. Authenticity isn’t something we switch on a few minutes before walking onto a stage. Nor does it mean sharing more personal stories or speaking without preparation.

For me, authenticity is closely connected to presence.

It’s the ability to pay attention to what’s happening around you instead of constantly evaluating yourself. It’s noticing the audience’s reaction to an idea, listening carefully to a question before answering, and allowing the conversation to unfold rather than trying to control every moment.

That doesn’t mean preparation becomes less important. If anything, thoughtful preparation creates the confidence to be more adaptable. When you’re deeply familiar with your material, you’re no longer dependent on delivering it exactly as planned. You have the freedom to respond to the audience rather than simply present to them.

I’ve found that to be true far beyond public speaking.

Organizations sometimes approach communications in much the same way. They spend months refining language, editing presentations, and reviewing announcements, all with the hope that every detail will be perfect before anything is shared.

There’s value in that discipline. Clear, accurate communication matters.

At the same time, no amount of editing can replace an understanding of the people who will receive the message. Audiences don’t experience communication as a finished document. They experience it through the lens of their own questions, concerns, and expectations.

That’s why I continue to come back to audience understanding, regardless of whether the conversation is about marketing, leadership, or executive communications. The more we understand the people we’re trying to reach, the less energy we spend trying to perfect ourselves.

Looking back on my conversation with Hope, a key takeaway is that public speaking is never about perfection but rather about connection.

Continue the Conversation

If you enjoyed this essay, listen to my conversation with executive communication coach Hope Timberlake on The Resonance Lab, or continue with the next article in the Resonance in Practice series.