Trust Is Built Before You Say a Word

Resonance in Practice

Resonance in Practice is an ongoing series inspired by conversations on The Resonance Lab podcast. Each article begins with an idea from one of those conversations and explores it through the lens of The Nova Method’s audience-first approach to communications.

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Executive presence has always been one of those phrases that sound easier to define than they actually are.

Over the years, I’ve worked with leaders whose personalities couldn’t have been more different. Some were naturally energetic and comfortable speaking in front of a room. Others were quieter, more reflective, and admitted they’d much rather be behind the scenes than standing at a podium. Some relied on stories and conversation. Others preferred facts and data.

Despite these differences, many of them were still able to earn trust.

That observation stayed with me after my conversation with executive communication coach Hope Timberlake on The Resonance Lab. Hope works with leaders who regularly find themselves in high-stakes situations, from media interviews and investor presentations to keynote speeches and board meetings. We spent a good deal of time talking about executive presence, a topic that comes up frequently in both of our work.

It’s also one of the most misunderstood.

Executive presence is often described as though it’s something people either possess or don’t. We tend to associate it with confidence, charisma, or a commanding speaking style. While those qualities may influence how someone is perceived, they don’t fully explain why one leader earns trust more quickly than another.

I’ve found myself paying attention to something else.

Long before a speaker reaches the heart of a presentation, the audience has already begun forming impressions. They notice whether someone seems interested in being there. They notice whether the speaker is listening as carefully as they’re talking. They notice how someone responds when something unexpected happens, such as a difficult question, a technical problem, or a moment that wasn’t part of the plan.

None of us consciously makes a checklist of these observations. They happen naturally because that’s how people experience conversations.

I’ve seen this during media training more times than I can count.

An executive finishes answering a question and immediately wants to talk about the wording they used or the statistic they forgot to mention. Meanwhile, everyone else in the room is talking about something entirely different. They noticed that the executive interrupted the interviewer. Or that they never really answered the question that was asked. Or that they relaxed and became more engaging the moment they stopped worrying about saying everything perfectly.

Those are very different conversations.

One is happening inside the speaker’s head.

The other is happening in the audience’s minds.

Hope made an observation during our discussion that I found myself returning to later. She talked about helping leaders become more present rather than more performative. I appreciated that distinction because it reflects something I’ve seen throughout my own career. The leaders I’ve admired most rarely seemed preoccupied with themselves.

They were paying attention to other people.

They listened carefully before answering a question. They adjusted when they realized something wasn’t landing. They weren’t afraid to pause and gather a thought rather than rushing to fill every moment with words. Their confidence came across less as certainty and more as a willingness to stay engaged with the conversation, even when it became uncomfortable.

That doesn’t mean they were naturally gifted communicators.

In many cases, they had simply learned that communication isn’t something we deliver. It’s something we build with other people.

I’ve come to think that’s where executive presence really begins – with an awareness that every audience arrives with its own questions, expectations, and experiences. Once we start paying attention to those things, our own communication often changes naturally. We explain ideas differently. We pause more often. We listen more carefully. We become less concerned with performing well and more interested in making sure people leave with a greater understanding than they had when they arrived.

Continue the Conversation

If you enjoyed this essay, listen to my conversation with executive communication coach Hope Timberlake on The Resonance Lab, or continue with the next article in the Resonance in Practice series.